Day 18 part 1: Nightmare (can trigger)

This blogpost is not suited for people who can get triggered.


Just woke up from a nightmare…
I was on a trip without medication (no antidepressants), and after a few days I started to feel really bad. The people around me didn’t have my best interest at heart. It made me feel paranoid.
I tried to call my parents, but as always happens in a dream-world: technology works different there. If you press a 0 suddenly a 4 appears. Really frustrating!
Who the people where, I don’t really know, but they managed to get me in contact with an older man. Since I didn’t trust them, I didn’t trust that man either. But I couldn’t put my finger on it, what exactly was wrong with the picture. (In meanwhile all the emotions of anger and sadness had fully emerged, and it was really heard to think straight.)
Until the older man, wanted 2 pictures I had. He had tried to steal them.
I exploded… Because then I suddenly realized those people had brought my biological father to see me.
I screamed at him that he had no right to anything that belonged to me.
And then of course I woke up… With all the feely feels still raging through my body.
So so tired, but afraid of going back to sleep. The sadness is still there, I can feel it, but it has clawed itself deep into my stomach and belly.
Breathe in, breathe out… It’s just a dream… Dreams can’t hurt me…
I’ll talk to you later…